Experiences, good and bad, can be our guide

John Antone

June 5, 2010

Believing. To me, faith in someone or something is an attribute given to us by the Holy Spirit and creates in us a flame of goodness. Hate and resentment will quench the fire ever so soon and I believe our lives will drown in the hurt we cause when our fire of goodness dims.

But one can make changes, and as St. Thomas the Apostle essentially said, according to a biblical story, “Seeing is believing.” It took an actual “hands-on” experience of seeing Jesus resurrected to stoke the flame in Thomas’ heart.

I have found that looking after those in need has changed my attitude toward everyone — especially the hungry, homeless, unclean, unloved and those with nowhere to turn. They still have a pilot light burning in their hearts, it just needs to be turned up. A simple visit and smile can spark that light. To me, it is the most important gesture of good will we can leave anyone. Our attention exceeds all the clothes, beds and furniture we can supply. We can feed someone, pay the utility bill, rent or fix their car — but nothing surpasses our attention and love.

This caring attitude can redound to a person’s feelings, and his or her actions will change for the good. This may occur slowly, but the flame can grow to burn brightly and a new method of living emerge.

In my years of growing and going to Mass every Sunday, a seed was planted. But during my teenage years, alcohol abuse appeared. I acted impulsively and shoveled my integrity and character into poor soil. Over 40 years, my existence was cluttered with stones and thorny vines. My senses were dulled, my roots sullied. But, winter turned to spring; a new season, a new flame, was born. After eight years of sobriety, my attitude has changed.

To believe in myself requires that I help others to do the same. I believe that every person wears the face of Jesus. We are holy temples. Every life is sacred. To me, every thought and action both good or bad is God-given — with a free will to discern the proper direction.

Even when we take the wrong fork in the road of life, I believe in a loving, forgiving God who understands how frail we are. He gives us the Holy Spirit, redeeming us at the moment of repentance when our sorrow for wrong­doing is acknowledged. It may take time, and experiences both good and bad can be our guide.

I believe there is more to life than meets the eye. Faith has eyes of its own. Faith as a feeling includes our thoughts and desires. To me, when we don’t or can’t believe, what use is there to living? Where or what is the goal or purpose of life? I believe the Holy Spirit gives us the will, the wherewithal to bring our lives to fruition. So I now cultivate my garden with care and believe in the goodness that nurtures it. Yes, I believe!

John Antone is a member of St Alice Catholic Church in Springfield, and district council president and board member for St. Vincent de Paul of Lane County. This column is coordinated by Lane Interfaith Alliance.